How to Help Someone with a Drinking Problem

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How to Help Someone or Yourself if You Have a Drinking Problem

An alcohol use disorder (AUD) is when someone abuses or is addicted to alcohol.

An AUD can be conventionally thought of as a drinking problem. But how do you spot one and how do you communicate with someone close to you that suffers from this?

From spotting red flags of an AUD to staging an intervention or calling a national rehab hotline, here is how you help someone close to you or even yourself.

AUD Warning Signs

Many people who have an AUD will try to hide it from those close to them. There are, however, some warning signs that can help you identify if a friend, family member or partner who has this problem or is at risk of developing one shortly:

  • They go out drinking alone often, especially after work or on local weekends.
  • Their mood changes when they drink alcohol and they become more aggressive as a result.
  • When they drink with others, they take turns buying rounds for all present, but their tolerance remains high even though many drinks later.
  • They start thinking that less expensive brands are inferior compared to top-shelf varieties and insist on spending extra money despite economic difficulties (or simply to prove they can do it).
  • They drink alcohol in the morning to wake up as an “eye opener” or before going to sleep at night.
  • Their drinking is starting to cause them problems with their family, friends and place of employment
  • They’re beginning to isolate themselves from others as a result of a growing drinking problem.
  • You start noticing empty bottles lying around their home or apartment.

Those are some clear signs that should alert you about possible risks in one’s behavior. If you see that your friend is not doing well and could use some support, be there for him or her to talk about their feelings!

Stages of Alcohol Addiction

There are stages of alcohol addiction from denial to actively pursuing recovery.

  • Stage One: Denial

If you see someone going through all the stages described above, then it’s time for a talk! They might be in denial and not want to talk to you. Here are some suggestions on how to do an intervention with a group of friends or family members. First, schedule separate meetings where each person will have their chance to express themselves one at a time without interruption from others. Things like “I miss having fun times together,” “You’re not my friend anymore because I always feel left out when we go out as a big group.” Of course, the problem drinker will likely try to defend their drinking by saying things like, “I’m not addicted. Besides, alcohol relieves stress and makes me feel better about myself.” But you can always tell him or her that there are other ways of dealing with anxiety (like exercise) and remind them how much they’re hurting both themselves and everyone around them as a result of it.

  • Stage Two: Experimentation

In stage two, the individual has begun experimenting with sobriety but without success at first. This means they could be going through withdrawal symptoms which include hangover headaches, nausea/vomiting and tremors in their hands. After some time (usually about a week), the withdrawal symptoms have usually gone away and it’s then that this person will be more receptive to help from others around them.

  • Stage Three: Preoccupation

With sobriety In stage three, someone has been abstaining for a while now but they’re still preoccupied with their drinking problem with thoughts like “What if I start again?” or “I want something alcoholic NOW!” It’s best during these times if friends can remind him or her of how much fun they had together before alcohol became involved when they were at each other’s side on days out in bars, sharing jokes and good conversation. This emotional support is crucial because someone who’s trying to stay sober may feel like they’re the only one going through these problems and that no one understands their struggles.

  • Stage Four: Active Recovery

In stage four, someone is in active recovery when he or she has been sober for an extended period with few if any relapses. This person is finally starting to see how alcohol has been negatively affecting his or her life on a day-to-day basis and is ready to take some positive steps towards change by seeking professional help (like therapy) as well as support from friends and family. It’s important during this phase that relapse prevention plans are discussed and put into place so that if temptation does arise (and it likely will at some point), then this person knows exactly what to do to get back on track.

How to Support a Loved One Struggling With Alcoholism

There are many ways that you can support someone who is struggling with an AUD, but the most important thing is to be there for them when they need it! This could mean listening without judgment, going to therapy sessions together or just providing general emotional support during tough times.

You may also want to consider setting some boundaries if this person’s drinking becomes too much for you to handle (like not allowing him or her to drink around you). If your loved one decides to seek professional help, be sure to attend all appointments and support their journey towards sobriety however you can.

What If the Problem Drinker Is You?

If you recognize some of the red flags above and you feel you don’t have anyone to talk to, then a national rehab hotline might be a good option.

These hotlines are staffed with professionals who can provide you with support and resources. Remember that there is no shame in admitting that you have a problem. The only stigma is not having the courage to admit that you may need to make changes in your life.

Here are some numbers to assist you:

National Rehab Hotline: 866-210-1303

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357